What I Want
by Omikun
Summary: Never give Ken your cleaning, never have an argument with Yohji, never walk under the sun with Schuldig, never let Farfie try to get blood stains on your couch...*shonen ai*
1. A Beautiful Day

Omikun

Omikun

Started 27/05/01

Disclaimer: the same blah blah as usual. Even though I'd like to own them, the Weiss Kreuz characters and stuff aren't mine (sniff sniff). They're the property of Koyasu Takehito, Tsuchiya Kyoko and Project Weiss…and please don't sue me, I've got no money. But if you want to give me some, you're welcome J i hope you'll enjoy this fic, it's my first one. Scuse the bad english, i'm french =P (explains it all, ne?)

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What I Want

PART ONE

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A beautiful day

On a day like this, everything seems to have its extent in the bright sky. On a day like this, life is present in each little noise, each little usual object. If u take the time to watch the surrounding world, then you'll see that all those things you never seem to be aware of are of a wonderful beauty, filled with grace and harmony. And as I stand at the door of the Koneko No Sumu Ie, I can fully admire this almighty Nature as well as the elements brought by manhood. My heart if filled with joy, my mind seems to soar high in that never ending sky. I feel an intense peace spreading in my whole self, and I smile to the sun, closing my eyes because of the sharp light. I hope this moment could be eternal…

"What the…KEN!!! "

A scream that annihilates harmony. I sigh. I should have expected such an end for my daydreaming… I can hear footsteps from the flat hurrying noisily this way, and I wonder if I should get some other place to hide. Just a few seconds and Yohji-kun enters the shop through the backdoor.

"Uh? Na…nani?"

Ken-kun's voice reflects apprehension. Seems he knows he did something wrong. I turn my head to watch the scene folding in the quiet shop. I wonder what caused Yohji-kun's anger. I'm curious, but at the same time I don't want to see my friends have a fight. And even more if the reason for that fight is a ridiculous matter, which is actually most of the time…

"What does _that_ mean????"

Yohji-kun's just waken up, it seems, although it's nearly midday. He's only wearing one of his old underpants. I must admit we had such a heat those days! I suppose he 'ran' directly to the shop, for he's barefoot. His hair is quite messed up, as if he had spent the whole night turning over in his bed, as a result of the summer weather… or of another athletic activity. His whole body is sweating, showing the urgent need of a shower. I'm stunned that he had come in the shop in this state, knowing that there could be female customers at this time of the day. I guess he is quite lucky that there is nobody right now.

He's standing next to the backdoor opposite to me, showing Ken-kun a piece of clothe that I can't recognize. The color is… special… to describe it I hesitate between a flashy pink and a dirty gray…

Ken-kun looks at the clothe, frowning. I repress a giggle, coz I know he's trying to hide the fact that he _knows_ what's going on. After a few seconds of reflection, and under Yohji-kun threatening glare, he finally utters a few hesitating words:

"errrr… isn't it one of your pairs of boxers?"

I would have never guessed… the cloth is in such a state of damage we couldn't even use it to clean the floor…

Ken-kun's eyes then try to focus on the gentian bouquet he is composing. But actually he doesn't want to meet his elder's gaze. Yohji-kun seems to boil with anger. He clenches his fist on what remains of the boxers.

"It's my _fave_ pair of boxers!"

Ken-kun looks like he wants to hide behind the small bouquet, or maybe he thinks Yohji-kun wouldn't try to kick his ass if there's something fragile between them. I feel relieved I'm not those flowers…

"Oooh! But maybe ya don't recognize it! Sure it has changed since I last saw it!"

Yohji-kun is really harsh. Poor Ken-kun! He throws me a glance. I don't know if he's embarrassed because I'm witnessing the quarrel that started on his own mistake, or if he's silently pleading for help. I ponder the question a few seconds, and conclude that I shouldn't interfere right now. Gomen, Ken-kun, but Yohji-kun is really scary… Nevertheless, I have understood something. As I said before, Yohji-kun knows a customer could enter the shop anytime. Of course he doesn't want anybody, and especially any woman, to see him in such an unattractive attire. Thus our dear Yohji-kun stays as near as possible to the backdoor. This way, if anybody comes, he'll just have to jump backside to disappear. And this situation also allows Ken-kun to escape from a potential physical punishment. I don't know if he's aware of that, but anyway right now he'll never do a step in Yohji-kun's direction, should Schwarz come and threaten him on the other side, he'd prefer try his chance with his enemies than facing his own teammate, even without his bugnuk. 

Anyway ken-kun remains where he is, a few meters from Yohji's grasp, on the safe side. He's sweatdropping and seems confused, looking down to the flowers. As for Yohji-kun, he's still showing the ex-boxers to Ken-kun, and the very sight of him would scare a vampire… I wonder if Aya-kun has not more influenced him that what we thought. But well, this pair of boxers was his favorite…

"This marvelous cloth was not only very convenient and nice and soft! It was the penultimate asset in my complicated and well-thought seduction process! I wore it on every special hot date!"

"And what's the ultimate asset?"

It was Aya-kun who entered the shop unnoticed, passing just next to me without a noise, which caused a start from Yohji-kun who must have thought it was a customer. He apparently feels relieved to see it is just his friend.

"Well… me, of course!"

Ken-kun listens silently to Yohji-kun's speech, seemingly very busy with the gentians, his cheeks red with either guilt or embarrassment or maybe fear. Aya-kun looks disapprovingly at the almost naked man.

"Go and change into a more fitting suit. You'll scare customers, and it's almost your shift."

Yohji-kun gasps. He, frightening customers? And it was Aya-kun who said that? I can easily imagine what he's thinking. 

Aya-kun, as impassible as usual, puts his apron on, ready to work. He starts checking the orders of the morning. Yohji-kun seems to have swallowed the last sentence, and his attention turns back to Ken-kun, who had thought a moment that his beloved leader had saved him. Now he realizes he's not entirely safe yet, and his open face shows all his feelings: first awareness of his situation, then fear and acceptance of his death to come. He doesn't seem in the mood to fight, but it's maybe because he knows he's the one who's wrong.

"Only yesterday I had the proof of it's efficiency on women…"

Here I start to blush, and Ken-kun rises his crimson face.

"Chotto matte! Not in front of Omi!"

I'm impressed that Ken-kun dares to repress his fears for me, and I'm seeing him with a newly born awe. But maybe he thought it could end the conversation, or at least delay it. But maybe I think too much too.

Quite sadly it had absolutely no effect on Yohji-kun, who continued to speak as if he had not been interrupted. 

"Last night we were quite in a hurry…"

"Yeah I saw that this morning! "

I can't believe it! Ken-kun finally decided to react! And actually he really seems angry too. Maybe the matter wasn't entirely his fault…

"Your clothes were spread all throughout the place! I even found her socks! She forgot them! You'll have to give 'em back to her. Don't ya know ya live with three other people? When I saw the mess I thought I had to do some cleaning before Omi wakes up…"

At that point I started to feel as if I shouldn't hear the end of the story. I decided to sweep the dirty floor. Ken-kun had broken a pot. He had basically cleaned the area, but I don't want a customer to slip on the remaining dust and water. Ken-kun can really be clumsy at times.

"Some cleaning? Mou… you're kidding! When I woke up and saw the clothes on the chair, clean and folded, I thought I would thank ya! What a joke! I should have guessed you would wash my silk boxers with your soccer suit!"

I can't help bursting out laughing. Ken-kun had put a silk pair of boxers in the washing machine? With his colored soccer suit? Hahahahahaha! 

Of course this very natural reaction causes my two friends to look daggers at me. Still laughing, I walk to the exit of the shop and go on with my contemplation of the city's beauty. I can hear both of them shout in the shop. I decide to do my washing by myself and never risk giving clothes to Ken-kun, as it happens sometimes when I have too much homework. 

I hear giggles on my left. There's a bunch of girls coming this way. In the shop Yojhi-kun is still having an argument with Ken-kun, wearing only old shorts, his hair undone and having seemingly spent a tiring night. The girls wave at me and fasten their pace. I don't know why, but I suddenly fall in another burst of laughter. I keep on laughing and laughing and laughing, while the girls come nearer and nearer. They stare at me wondering what's happening with me, but they seem to appreciate my mood. I manage to walk some steps away to let them enter the Koneko…

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Kawai!!!!!!"

"O.o"

I hear Yohji-kun hurrying into the flat, and the girls giggling, and Ken-kun laughing and Aya-kun grumbling something about being serious or die. The sky is bright, the sun shines, birds are singing. I never felt so good. It's like a rebirth. I want every single day of my life to be like this…

-Part One_owari-

so it's my first fic. Comment onegai? Please feel free to critisize… this way i'll improve. ::pleading neko eyes:: onegaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Arigatou! 


	2. Some Hope

Omikun

Omikun

Started 28/05/01 

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What I Want

PART TWO

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Some Hope

Oh God! Just when this is gonna end?

I sustain Yohji's terrifying glare. He's really pissed off. And he thinks it's because of me… well… it's somewhat because of me, but it's also his own fault! I don't have to be the only one to blame in this ridiculous story! The first one to have done something wrong is him and only him! … I'm the second person to have done something wrong. But what's really getting on my nerves, is that he's blaming poor Omi too, just because the kid didn't warn him of the coming girls! He was in such a fit of laughter he could do nothing… The girls came in, saw Yohji who had left the backdoor's safe proximity, almost naked and in a as bad temper as physical state, Yohji gasped and made a run for the door, slipped and fell on the floor…hurt his ass against the wall…everybody laughed except Aya, who seemed absolutely dismayed… and the most extraordinary thing is that Yohji's ex-favorite boxer shorts, which he had involuntarily dropped in the shop, has since vanished. I suspect one of the girls to have abducted it and made a trophy of it, or some fanatic item.

Ok ok, Yohji _is_ right to be angry. This situation would have unnerved even cheerful Omi. But it doesn't allow him to spoil our life! And even more if it's during _lunch_! 

Feeling Yohji's boiling glare is preventing me from enjoying honorably my potato and hard-boiled eggs salad. I'm no longer looking at him, but I can sense his hatred. He's fixing me without eating. It's still going on since 12 minutes and 37 seconds now. Aya doesn't really seem to be affected by the atmosphere, he's eating without a word as usual. And Omi, poor innocent Omi… his head is so low that his nose is almost tasting his salad. He tried to slacken the tension between us, but Yohji is number two at holding grudges, number one being Aya. All his attempts failed. Seems he gave up 2 minutes and 13 seconds ago.

Uh? Omi lifts his head, about to speak…

"Anou… How's the salad? Gotta keep the recipe? "

Although he looks embarrassed, Omi manages to smile, I don't know how. I've always admired this energy of his and his omnipresent smile. It's one of the rare things that never fails cheering me up. I don't think he knows how important it is to me. I like to see him smile. He's so cute a boy. I could endlessly watch the sparkle in his eyes, and I sometimes fancy that my hand gently touches his honey-like hair… so soft under my fingers…

Not the time and place to dream of Omi! I smile back at him:

"Aa! I really like it! You cook like a pro!"

"Arigatou, Ken-kun!"

He turns to Yohji…

"Anou… Yohji-kun… You don't like my salad? You haven't touched it…"

Yohji is still fixing me. Omi looks at him with hope, his bright but shy smile waiting for the answer with impatience. Yohji finally opens his mouth:

"Stop it, you brat! Ya're getting on my nerves!"

I won't forgive him! Omi is taken aback. He really seems to be shocked by his friend's reaction. Yohji said that with such a disgusted tone! I look at Omi with apprehension. It seems to me that the poor guy is about to cry… I don't even hear Aya's harsh words towards Yohji, I just stand and leave.

***

Under a shining sun, Ken was walking down a crowded street. He didn't pay attention to the people he met, who several times had to deviate their route so as not to collide into the young depressed man. He just walked in silence, lost in thoughts, fixing the folding ground he was trampling. He was walking aimless, just reminding the last hour's events, focused on the idea that he hated his reaction. He wished he had stayed at the table and put Yohji in his place. Yohji shouldn't have been so harsh with Omi, and Ken really felt sorry for his young friend. He was imagining all the different speeches he could have said to his elder, and this had three main effects: he enjoyed them because he always had the last word, it was exiting him, and finally it was causing very deep regrets. Had he not been surrounded by so many people, he would have banged his head against a wall… He kept muttering a word, and an woman passing by thought she heard him say "Baka! Baka! Baka!…". Her eyes followed him an instant, wondering what was going on, and she then decided it wasn't her business…

So who's business was it? Poor Ken was not alone in the street, far from that considering that he had difficulties to make his way through the hurried mob. But he felt alone. He had no friends to talk with, no one to comfort him and smile at him… He wanted Omi to cheer him up… But Omi wasn't there, and the kid wasn't likely in the mood to give his free beautiful smile. Ken wished he had been more careful and saw that the boxers ought not to be put in the washing machine… Yohji would have thanked him for his kindness, Omi would have smiled all day long, Aya would have … well… been as cold as usual… But Ken was sure that this situation was unnerving the redhead too. And Ken would have been happy and have lived a nice day. But he had done something bad, unconsciously ok, but bad. And he felt bad… everything seemed to be bad… he was in the depths of despair…

He suddenly realized a tear was running down his cheek. He wiped it hurriedly with his hand, and rose his head to the world. He must have walked quite for a while, since he didn't recognize the alley he was in. He stopped… He didn't remember to have changed his direction, he thought he had walked straight ahead. Maybe he been carried along with the flow of people. He scratched his head, uncertain what to do. The place was quite desert, only a few groups of people were standing some meters away, lurking him… He didn't feel at ease. Of course he was fit to defend himself, but he didn't want to be involved in a fight. He passed by trying to look as normal and plain as possible. He felt relieved when nobody seemed to follow him, and he somehow regained some insurance. He walked on, thinking he would finally arrive on a more crowded street, when he heard voices…

They weren't really shouting. But they were speaking louder than the usual mere chat he was getting used to. It was seemingly the premise of a fight. Looking around him, he finally spotted the area where the voices came from. He just wanted to be sure that the people weren't aggressed, he certainly couldn't remain passive when somebody was in danger. He slowly approached the group, unnoticed, and observed what was going on. There's were about six full-grown ups around… a teen? Ken thought he should interfere. He couldn't see the kid, who showed only his back to him, but according to his frame he must be fairly young, and couldn't resist his attackers. 

Ken frowned. One of the guys' hands were lingering on the kid's face… going down to his body… Ken stepped forward, not wanting the kid to be raped.

"Hey!"

Six faces turned to him. They seemed stunned that somebody dared to bother them during their game, but they seemed glad to see that things were growing interesting. Ken thought it was going to be hard, but he wanted to help the kid.

The kid… turned… slowly…

Ken had never been so taken aback in his whole life! The kid he was saving was… the kid from Schwarz!

Pale green eyes stared at him, but nothing in them showed fear nor surprise. For a moment he thought he was facing Aya. The unconscious parallel between his friend and his enemy quite bothered him…particularly since he really liked Aya. The kid didn't move… but the other guys did move. They were coming closer to Ken.

BAKA!

It was Ken's favorite word right now. He endangered his life for a Schwarz member, who didn't even seemed to be concerned by his own aggression. However, it was still a kid. He couldn't go and let him handle this alone. Anyway he was already trapped between four of the guys. They were very close, and Ken was disgusted by their proximity, and by the glances they were throwing him. He wanted to punch those smirks on their faces to make them disappear. 

"Hnnn… Ya wanna play with us, bishonen?"

"Sure he wants! Would be a fool…"

"Ya're not going to spoil our game, ne?"

"Maaaa… he's sexy!"

"Let's play!"

Ken was ready, he was waiting for the first blow. He didn't have to wait long, for one of the men hit him directly in the face… or tried to. Ken jumped on the side and hit him back in the stomach with his leg. It wouldn't be too hard for an assassin like him to finish the six furyos. But maybe he concluded too fast the situation in his mind. He should have been more careful.

One of them was deadly fast. He took advantage of the fact that Ken's attention was attracted by the others to get him backward. He took Ken's arms, and imprisoned him in his embrace. Kuso! The bastard was strong! Ken tried to escape, but failed. A few seconds and the others were on him. He suffered many hits… one hit, another hit…Ken's face hurt badly. He knew he was going to collapse if he didn't do something, but after a few kicks he wasn't sure he had still the strength to move…

"Let him go."

The gentle voice was like an angel's. 

Ken saw his aggressor's fist stop dead a few inches from his face, as if something was restraining him. The man looked puzzled, and tried to fight the immobilization. Suddenly, under the scared eyes of the other members of his band, he flew and crashed on a wall, twenty meters away. All of them were feeling both astound and frightened, Ken included. Their eyes turned to face the Schwarz kid, who looked so frail and innocent… he was stepping in their direction, eyes empty of any emotion. He was staring at Ken. 

"Let him go, or you'll fly."

Ken felt the grasp that imprisoned him loosened, and he quickly moved from the furyo's arms to get free. He staggered a little, and finally took hold of his body. He leant on the closest wall and rose his eyes, just in time to witness another guy being expulsed by the Schwarz boy's will. The band finally desperately ran away. Ken thought they would hesitate before attacking a kid from now, and the idea quite relieved him. Then he remembered of the Schwarz boy's presence. 

The kid was looking at him, still showing nothing that could be interpreted as a feeling. His face was like an doll's, beautiful but empty. Ken wondered what he was thinking about. He was sure he had feelings… he was sure if he looked carefully into these charming eyes he would see something… a feeling… a thought…

"Daijobu?"

"Ha… hai." The young man was surprised by his enemy's interest in his health. He thought he was a cold bastard that would take advantage of his temporary weakness to finish him off. He looked in those eyes again, and saw… humanity.

"Ya're… Nagi, ne?"

Nagi didn't answer, he just stared at him, directly in the eyes. This eye connection between them quite confused ken. It reminded him of Aya, who was the only one who ever watched him this way, without uttering a single word. In Aya's eyes he usually saw anger. In Nagi's eyes he now perceived loneliness… those eyes showed his broken soul.

"You can walk?"

Ken stood up straight and made a few steps. He was feeling much better.

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Good. Sayonara."

Nagi started to walk away. Ken had expected an attack, yet the child didn't even try to touch him. As he watched him leave, he suddenly felt the need to follow him. He didn't want their meeting to end this way. He moved and followed him with hesitation. 

He walked silently a few steps behind Nagi. The street was empty now, only the two of them filled it with the soft noise of their pace. Nagi knew Ken was following him. His elder wasn't hiding it. He just accompanied him. It didn't really bothered the teen, he didn't care, as long as Ken didn't bothered him. He could get rid of him any time he wanted with his telekinesis. And Ken was aware of that. He didn't know how to behave with Nagi, first because of his power, then because he was his enemy. But then, why was he following him? Ken thought about it, watching Nagi's back as he walked. He had saved him… no… Nagi didn't need to be saved. Actually it was more Nagi who had saved Ken in the end. But why was he following him? Why? … Was it because of what he saw in his eyes? He had felt sympathy for the kid. This loneliness… he knew it too well. Of course he had his friends. The best friends he ever had, and certainly the best he'll ever have too. They sometimes had argument, like this morning, but everything always went fine in the end. He loved his friends, but he really felt lonely. He was good at nothing except soccer, but an assassin would never become a famous soccer player… he never could, he would end in jail…he had nothing to keep him living save those moments of happiness he had with his friends. And when his relationship with them degraded like this, he had nothing left. Hence the depression. 

But what about Nagi? He was part of Schwarz. Were the other members of Schwarz his friends? Ken had never thought this way, not about his worse enemies. They had feelings too, they were friends, they shared moments of happiness like him with Weiss… then why was Nagi lonely? Was he in the same case as Ken? Did he have a fight with his friends?

"Na… Nagi?"

The kid shuddered. He didn't expect Ken to talk to him. He grumbled in answer.

"What about… your friends?"

Nagi stopped. He turned back to Ken and fixed him straight in the eyes. Ken contemplated his beauty once again. Damn! He wasn't just cute. He was really handsome!

Nagi watched him this way for some long and extended seconds, then answered with his soft voice:

"They're cold bastards."

He walked on. Ken followed. He had sensed anger and regrets. Schwarz had a fight, in which Nagi had been psychically injured. Ken felt close to Nagi. They both had a trying day, and reacted the same. They were both depressed.

They had been walking for hours. They were now in a park, walking side by side. From times to times Ken had tried to start conversation, without much success. After such an afternoon, even an athlete like him would be exhausted. They had walked and walked and walked. Ken was more used to shorter periods of intensive effort. And his previous fight didn't improve his health. His feet badly hurt. He wondered how Nagi could go on like this without looking tired. 

As if the kid had read in his mind (influenced by Schuldig?), he changed his direction to walk on the grass and sit under a maple. He crossed his legs and put his hands on the grass behind him. He closed his eyes to feel the wind softly stroking his face and stirring his hair. For a second, Ken thought he perceived a faint smile on the kid's lips. 

The young man came and sat next to him. He first looked at the landscape, laughing as he saw lads playing soccer not far from them. He was torn between the will to join them and the joy of being there with Nagi. Uh? What? He… he felt joy being with a Schwarz? …What was he thinking about? He should have hated the boy! 

Then he looked at Nagi once again. Sure he was attractive. He was slender, beautiful… had something that reminded him of Aya… maybe this cold aura. But he was sure now that inside, the kid was alive, as was Aya. But he had not Aya's constant hatred, and his habit to mutter. Yes, he liked Nagi. 

Nagi opened his eyes and slightly blushed as he saw that Ken was fixing him.

"Wanna drink something?"

"Anou?" Nagi was puzzled. Ken repressed a laugh.

"Drink? You know, when ya're thirsty. Something liquid to pour in your mouth, and then ya feel better."

Nagi stood up.

"I think I'll leave now."

"Hey! Wait!"

The game of walking and being followed continued. Ken felt embarrassed, he didn't know if he could leave Nagi now. He felt concerned with his depression. Those green eyes had told him so many things… sad feelings… wishes… he had thought all day long, and his perception of things had totally changed. He had observed Nagi for hours now, and had learnt to interpret the boy's features and behavior. He liked this link that was being built between them, but he thought their teammates would never understand if they knew. But maybe they would? They were friends, they would at least try to understand. And now Ken could explain many things to them. And what about Schwarz?

"You should go, now."

Ken awoke from his daydreaming at the sound of Nagi's voice. They were in the corridor of what seemed to be a wealthy building, which he hadn't even noticed he had entered being concentrated in Nagi's observation and his thoughts. Nagi was standing next to a door, staring at Ken, who lost himself a few seconds in his eyes.

"Na… nani?"

"I'm home. It's growing late, and you should go." 

Home? He was just in front of the Schwarz headquarters? Ken couldn't believe it! The kid had let him follow him up to their secret headquarters? He didn't understood something for sure… he wished he hadn't been thinking all their way long. He looked back at Nagi, worried.

"But… are you ok?"

Nagi blinked. Regaining his composure, he turned to the door, opened it, entered… and let the door open as a silent invitation to Ken. The young man had no idea of what to do. The rest of Schwarz wasn't there, or Nagi wouldn't have let him come this far and endangering him…well, that was what Ken thought. He wasn't sure he could leave the boy now, and he was quite curious to see where Schwarz lived. He finally stepped in.

As he shut the door behind him, he was welcome by the filtered light that the thick curtains let pass. The place was vast, but barely decorated. He had to wait a little so that his eyes got used to the half obscurity. It was modern style furniture. Big expansive television with video games and DVD player…he was sure Omi would like to enjoy the place. Opposite to him was a corridor leading to many doors, and on the right he could see the kitchen through an opened entrance. 

Nagi went to the kitchen and came back with two beers. He hold Ken one, and started to drink the other.

"Hey! You're not allowed to drink that!"

"I'm not allowed to kill too, but I'm a killer."

"The other Schwarz allow you…"

"They don't care, provided I don't get drunk during missions."

"But…"

"No but. Stop with your buts. Crawford is too busy to feel concerned with my education, Farfarello with his knives, and Schuldig doesn't care. I'm free to do whatever I want."

The little speech was filled with reproaches and regrets. Ken felt sorry. He lowered his eyes to fix the ground, not knowing what to answer. Nagi saw his reaction, and came closer. Much too close to Ken's opinion. He could smell the flavor of alcohol, and something else he couldn't point out… a delicious scent that reminded him of sand. The boy's face was really very close, and Ken walked back. Nagi followed him.

"Tell me… why did you follow me the whole afternoon?"

"Why… you looked so sad! I couldn't leave you!"

"We're enemies. You're not supposed to feel concerned with me. You ought to hate me."

Ken's back bumped in a wall. Nagi was slowly coming closer.

"I… I needed someone."

Nagi frowned, waiting for more explications.

"Yesterday I did something wrong. I had a fight with Yohji. He's spoiling my life holding his grudge. He bowled Omi out. I couldn't stand it. I left…"

Nagi didn't really know who the names mentioned. Nevertheless he smirked. 

"So you stayed with me to seek help? Compassion? You're a fool. A selfish fool."

"No! It's just that…"

A gentle touch on the lips, a soft sensation, a growing pleasure…

Ken was totally taken aback by Nagi's kiss. He hadn't expected their first real conversation to end this way. Oi! A man was kissing him! He wasn't even a man yet! He was still a boy! How old could he be? 14? 15? Yet he couldn't resist the exquisite feeling that overwhelmed him. His heart was pounding. He kissed Nagi back, and their embrace became passionate. Their tongues fiercely collided, explored, tasted. Their minds merged. They grew unaware of the outside world. Their world was only both of them, melting in one another…

Then Ken's mind reemerged. He suddenly broke apart, pushing Nagi away. His eyes were wide, and he kept repeating himself "shotakon!". It wasn't something new that he was attracted by men. He felt something strong for Aya, but he didn't really know if it was love. He always thought that Yohji was damn sexy, and Omi was so cute he could devour him. But they were grown ups (or almost, in Omi's case). Nagi was a _kid_! Not much older than some of the kids he was teaching soccer! He just couldn't kiss a kid! He couldn't! Anyway it was Nagi who kissed him, not the contrary. But he had kissed back! And a deep kiss! And his physical reaction proved he had really enjoyed it. Oh God: what had he done!

Nagi had lost his balance as Ken had pushed him away. The teen stood up, and merely asked:

"How long have you been here?"

Ken's heart suddenly stopped to beat. He had not realized there was somebody else in the room.

"Long enough…"

He recognized Schuldig's nasal voice. The German stepped from a shadow and leant on the wall next to Ken, fixing him right in the eyes, an evil smile on his face. Farfarello came then and sat on the couch not far away, licking a threatening knife. 

Now Ken really experienced fear. He was defenseless against both Schuldig and Farfarello, and even more without his bugnuk. But if he had to fight, he would fight with all his strengths! 

"Oh! I know I know. You're really brave! Taking advantage of a child…"

"Schuldig! It's none of your business!"

The red-head turned to Nagi, seemingly really enjoying the situation.

"Nagi… you don't want to share your new friend with us?"

"Yeah… we could have fun…"

Farfarello's reply was accentuated by an example of his capacity not to feel pain. Blood flew down his arm.

"Don't you dare touch him. He's mine."

Nagi stood firm facing the dangerous men on his own. Ken was impressed by the kid's determination. He knew of course that his self-confidence was induced by his power. The boy could handle a fight with either the German or the Irishman. But could he win against both?

Ken was embarrassed by Schuldig's proximity, and his own weakness. He could do nothing but watch. 

"Exactly, Kenken. You can do no-thing."

Schuldig stretched a hand to Ken's face, who shivered and moved away. Nagi was looking at his teammate with loathe. He walked to Ken, took his arm and dragged him to the flat's door. Schuldig screamed at Nagi:

"Hey! Do ya really think we'll let him go?"

"Anyway we'll move off in a week or so, as usual. Weiss won't come."

He opened the door, and pushed Ken into the corridor. Ken had let him lead him obediently, but now he wasn't sure he appreciated being bounced this way. He was relieved to have some distance between the two Schwarz members and him, but he certainly didn't want to leave Nagi this way, and let him alone with two psychos. He looked desperately into the green eyes again, and feared that they would disappear anytime. Nagi hold his gaze, but now Ken had no idea of what could be thinking the teen. He uttered a few words that Ken didn't realized the meaning.

"What?"

"It's my phone number."

Ken repeated the number in his head.

"Got it!"

…

…

…

"Ken?"

It was the first time Nagi called his name. He didn't even know Nagi knew it. Ken blushed.

"Aa?"

"Arigatou."

The door suddenly shut. 

Ken beamed. Nagi had just thanked him. Nothing could have made him happier. Nagi had appreciated his presence, and he had managed to somewhat help him! The memory of their kiss resurfaced, and the young man blushed a bright red. He had spent a wonderful afternoon with the boy. He felt ashamed of what they had done, even more because it was witnessed by Schuldig and Farfarello, but for him Nagi was no longer an enemy. Still this situation could bring troubles for both of them. What if they met during a mission, and had to fight? No, he would never hurt Nagi. And he was sure Nagi would never hurt him either. 

As he left the building, Ken realized he was happy. His depression had vanished, and he had the impression that he could succeed in everything he would start. He was experiencing a feeling he hadn't experienced for ages. He was experiencing freedom. Had he wings, he would soar high in the sky. His face and feet no longer hurt, he only felt the joy that Nagi had brought. 

He decided to walk home as fast as possible, and to apologize to Yohji. Omi would feel better and smile at him again. Aya would sure feel relieved too, even if he wouldn't show it. Yohji would be really stunned, but Ken was sure he would forgive him. If not, he would do anything to regain his friendship. The day after was his day off. He would call Nagi and see if they could meet. He repeated the numbers several times so as not to forget them. He won't be a baka anymore! He repeated them again and again as he walked home.

Right now he wanted to see his friends.

-Part Two_owari-

Still there? Cool! You liked it? You hated it? Just tell me! I accept every kind of notes provided it's either funny or constructive! ^____________^ Personally, I just love Nagi, and I think he deserves somebody nice, who would make him really happy. That's why I thought of our little Kenken! He's the most human character in Weiss Kreuz! Love him! But it's not as simple…you'll see if you read the next chapters! Ja ne!


	3. Give and Take

Omikun

Omikun

Started 02/06/01

Finished 03/06/01

What I Want

Part Three

****

Give and Take

Schuldig left the wall he was leaning against to stand close to the window, in the right angle to observe the street between the two curtains. Farfarello sat more conveniently on the couch and licked the blood that was still running down his arm. He was looking at Schuldig with an empty gaze, and the redhead thought it was better not to read his thoughts. Sometimes he was really scared by the fool's twisted mind. Before knowing Farfarello, Schuldig had always thought he was the most wicked man on Earth, but he had since learnt that there was much worse… Once in a while he linked his mind to the Irishman's, and he always discovered a world of mysteries that threatened every single living being, him included. Sometimes he wondered why his teammate had not yet killed them all. He always found the same answer: first Farfarello would have big difficulties to fight the other members of Schwarz, and then being part of Schwarz allowed him to get his avenge on God. Sure Schwarz hurt God, much more the whole team than a single man. 

Schuldig heard Nagi shut the door of the flat, and saw him step in the main room. He turned to gaze at the youngest member of Schwarz, who stopped dead when he realized someone was fixing him. 

"Nagi Nagi Nagi… why have you never told your friends you wanted a fuck? We're here to provide all the lust you want, you don't have to go and find your enemies for that."

Nagi snorted and went directly into his room. He slammed the door, but not before groaning a curse about his pretended "friends". Schuldig laughed, causing his long ginger hair to undulate. He really enjoyed teasing the kid; he always had the best reaction to be expected. He never let it pass and was each time affected by his words; the German could see that in the depths of his soul. Nagi was always on the defensive, but he rarely showed he was embarrassed. Schuldig knew of course each time he was, and liked it. Teasing Nagi was almost as arousing as teasing Brad. His leader had something Nagi would never have, the wit to tease him back. Brad had always an answer, and the game was even more exciting. 

Something in the street caught schuldig's attention. He recognized Kenken's frame amongst the crazy people. The young Japanese was making his way through a group of schoolgirls who looked at him as he passed by. Of course he must have success with girls… and with boys too, Nagi was a proof of that. It was a shame that he never had sex, not even with his dear Aya. Schuldig thought the boy might be a delicious toy when he would get bored. The Weiss assassin's mind was already badly tormented, and he had just to add his special mind game to tear him apart. The idea pleased him, and he began to imagine hundred of ways to play with Nagi's boyfriend. Besides hurting Ken might generate interesting reactions from Nagi. And of course, it would have consequences on the whole pack of white assassins. He would have real fun! 

His headache made its come back. The summer heat in Japan was really too oppressive for him. It was almost handicapping him. He was forced to rest several times a day, drink as much as he could, and using his power almost hurt him. He'll end up turning into a vampire if he kept on fleeing the sun or any source of light. His skin would be as pale as Farfarello's… no good for such a sexy guy. The only two things that eased his pain were a shower or a nap. He wasn't tired so he chose to have a shower.

Farfarello didn't move when he started to the bathroom, he was too much occupied with slicing his left arm. Schuldig thought Brad would make a fuss when he sees all the blood spread on the couch that he had already given to wash only a week ago. He even imagined Farfarello trying to get the red stains under Brad's attentive and threatening gaze. He laughed as he walked in the bathroom. Just as he was shutting the door, he heard noise from a room opposite to the corridor. Nagi was cursing. Schuldig located his mind and started to contemplate the teen's thoughts. He could sense hatred against the boy's elders, but also against himself… he picked up memories of his afternoon passed with Kenken, curious to see how they had met. There was nothing worth, and his head was beginning to bang awfully, so he shut the door and took his clothes off. He hated shirts but he was forced to wear one because of the weather. Moreover he had to wear very large shirts, which was more convenient, while he preferred tight clothes that showed enough of his body to attract attention. But he couldn't afford to feel worse than what he already suffered. He stepped in the shower and enjoyed the soothing liquid. He drew back his drenched hair and let the synthetic rain pour on his body. Now he felt good. He wondered if he could ever get used to Japanese summers. Nagi seemed to get through it without much difficulty, and he envied the kid for that… and maybe… 

Nagi had a new friend. A boyfriend? He wasn't sure. They had only "met" this afternoon. Sure they mutually attracted, and they even kissed. Anyway, Nagi had someone to love, and Schuldig was even more envious for that. Who loved Schuldig? Nobody. When he was younger he hated everybody, and he didn't need love. Now that he had grown up, his hatred had diminished. He needed friendship as any other human being… except maybe Farfarello…and he needed love. He couldn't admit it but it was true. And he wished he could have better relations with his teammates, especially with Brad. But his fucking mind disagreed. He always behaved like an asshole, hurting those he wanted to be friend with. It was hard to fight his own reactions and will. But he was quite new with these feelings. He would learn to cope with them, to use them. 

Hey! What was he thinking about? Him, love? No way! He would enjoy the others' pain till he dies! He would enjoy playing with their minds, drive them crazy, fuck them and finally kill them! He would enjoy…

He wasn't sure he still enjoyed that. A part of him still liked to see his teammates hurt while the other regretted his acts. And it was seriously disturbing him. He wished he could be a cold bastard as before. Things were much easier then: he hurt, he laughed. He had fun. He enjoyed life. Now he started to question his mind. Was he really happy?

The water stopped to rain. 

Another boring and oppressive afternoon. 

Schuldig was fighting hard to find some shadow. But the sun was at the zenith and only an umbrella could give him what he was desperately looking for. When he felt he was beginning to stagger, he entered a shop, any shop. Once he entered a lingerie shop, and when the female clerks saw him and Farfarello surrounded with bras and underpants, they thought they were maniacs. Sure they were quite unusual customers, especially the threatening Farfarello whose thoughts became very interesting when he stared at the clothes. He was imagining how beautiful would be a lady in a lace set, after he had properly sliced her up. God wouldn't appreciate that for sure. After a few minutes, Schuldig felt better, and he managed to show his most lustful grin to the women who observed them. He almost burst out laughing when he read their indignation. Even Farfarello smiled to them, enjoying some wicked thought. They finally had to leave when the clerks decided to call the police.

And here he was, under the bright sun again. He had his sunglasses on, but it had no effect on the infernal heat. Farfarello was following him with no sign of discomfort. Schuldig knew the guy couldn't feel pain. But could he sense heat and its effects? It seems not, and he was damn lucky! It was even disgusting to see him walk idly as if the weather was cool. 

If schuldig couldn't stand the sun, then why had he gone outside? Just because he couldn't stay in the flat all day long watching TV. He was bored. Really really bored. So he preferred to risk blackouts. 

"Schuldig."

It was Farfarello's quite voice.

"I'm going and have a nice time in this church."

"Uh? Yeah yeah… have fun."

Farfarello moved toward the church, and Schuldig thought air was usually cool in churches. But it was out of question to witness once again one of Farfarello's slaughters. Anyway he had better things to do. He had a friend to visit. Kenken. 

He mentally evaluated the shorter way to get to the flower shop. He would have to walk for quite some time, and under the sun. Well, he could always try.

After ten minutes spent under the evil light, his head began to bang again. His eyesight suddenly blurred, and he almost lost his balance. He leant against a wall, breathing hard. The weather was killing him. His legs were shaking and he wasn't sure he could finally go and visit Weiss. And if he managed to get there, it would be in a very bad state. The killers would get rid of him easily. It was wiser to go back home…

Somebody tapped his shoulder.

He turned to face a young woman of about his age, maybe a bit younger. She was European. Long fair hair, light brown eyes almost golden, thin lips slightly pursed… she wasn't beautiful but she had something about her that made her look really cute. Schuldig thought an angel had came to save him from hell and lead him to heaven. Was heaven a cool place?

"Anou… you're blocking the way…"

Schuldig had not realized he was leaning on the wall of a small entrance, and thus prevented anybody from entering or exiting the building. He stirred with difficulty to let her in. She hesitated and finally opened the door. Schuldig had nothing to lean against, his legs barely carried him, his head was exploding, his eyes shut… he fell unconscious.

His eyes opened. 

His eyesight was still blurred, but he gradually regained the ability to see what was before his eyes. Yet his brain was disconnected and he couldn't realize what it was. His head was still hurting simultaneously with his blood pressure, but it was only a faint touch now. It seemed to him that his body weighed tons, and the only attempt to stir a finger caused much efforts and thus pain. He remained motionless for a while, just waiting to feel better. His mind started to work, and he analyzed the situation. He had passed out. It had happened in the street. Yet he wasn't in the street. He was in a room. He was staring at the roof of this room, and he was lying in a bed. The curtains of the room were open, so he wasn't at the Schwarz headquarters. Anyway no one would have brought him back there. So was he in a hospital? He didn't thought so, considering the dirty wallpaper. It was such an ugly wallpaper. Walls in hospitals were usually white or of a pale color, and they were painted. Not a bright green and brown wallpaper. Ugly. So where was he? 

He moved slowly his head to have a better view of the room. He was in a very small flat. It was clean. Two doors, one the entrance and the other the bathroom. An opening on the left, the kitchen. No pictures on the ugly wallpaper. The furniture consisted only in the bed, a table and two chairs, and a small drawer. There was not much room for anything else. 

But what attracted Schuldig's attention was the kid playing cars on the floor.

It was a very young boy. About two. Blond hair, green eyes. Half-European, half-Asian. On the floor, playing cars. Where the hell was he? 

He lifted his hand to touch his burning forehead. The kid saw the move and rose his head staring at Schuldig. He suddenly stood and came closer. His little body was just tall enough to allow him to rest his arms on the bed when he was standing. And that's what he did. He crossed his arms on the bed, a few inches from Schuldig's head. The child smiled.

"Tu es français toi aussi? Maman dit que c'est pas souvent qu'on en rencontre."

"Uh?"

What was that? Italian? French? Schuldig had no idea. He only spoke German, English and Japanese. He wasn't gifted in foreign languages, but he had been forced to learn those for his little job. And it was hard enough.

The kid saw that the grown up didn't understand. He pouted, seemingly disappointed.

"Maman! Le monsieur l'est réveillé!"

"Ne crie pas!"

Schuldig watched in the direction of the voice. The young woman who he had met just before fainting stepped from the kitchen. She was wearing a blue and vast dress, ankle length. She was drying her hands with an apron.

"Su…sumimasen! He woke you?"

"Iie…"

Schuldig was quite surprised to see that he could talk, but his throat was awfully dry.

"I was really worried when I saw you faint. But I saw it was only due to the heat, so I brought you here. You've been sleeping for more than three hours now. Do you want some water? You must be thirsty…"

She directly went back to the kitchen without waiting for his answer, and came back after a few seconds with a glass of water. She murmured an apologize for she had nothing else to propose, and the redhead took the glass and drank ravenously. 

"Can I have another?"

"Of course!"

She went back to the kitchen. Schuldig moved to sit on the bed, and the kid jumped on the place next to him. He was smiling at him. Schuldig couldn't help but smile back. The woman talked from the kitchen:

"You are German, ne? I recognized the accent. I learnt some German many years ago. I'm French. Name's Sylvie. Here's Alex. And you're…?"

As she came with another glass of water that she hold to her unexpected guest.

"Schuldig."

"Hajimemashite, Schuldig-san!"

"Aha… I have to go."

He drank, then tried to stand. He fell back on the bed. Alex laughed. 

"You're not serious? You can't even stand! You sit here! I'm preparing dinner, it will be ready in a few minutes."

She went back to the kitchen again. Schuldig sat on the bed. He was perplexed. He wanted to go, but he couldn't. He wished he had watched TV…

The kid was still smiling at him. A bell rang in the German's mind.

"He's your son? You're a very young mother…"

"I was quite naive. I trusted anyone. When I fell pregnant, I just couldn't think of abortion. I was just eighteen. My parents abandoned me, and I had to manage everything on my own."

"His father…?"

"He doesn't even know he's got a son. I never saw him again…"

She must have had very hard times. How old was she? 20? 21? The kid was maybe 2 and a half, he wasn't sure. He wanted to know more, and he started to explore her thoughts.

The fact to have thus summed up her last few years awoke memories in her. She felt sad. It was very hard to earn enough for her and her son. She had been living in Japan since many years, and didn't want to go back to France. She had no real connections save Alex. She had been alone for a while, but now she felt better coz her son could speak a little. Alex was her only source of happiness. She had tried to contact his father, but she didn't even know his last name. They had met, had sex and separated. Only a week after their first kiss they each went their own way again. She didn't despise him for that. She knew they couldn't remain together, that he was free. She remembered his face…

Schuldig gasped. He couldn't believe the image she was unconsciously transferring him. He caught a glance at the boy next to him. Sure he has something about him that reminded of his father. And he would most likely look just like him when he grew up. He had his father's eyes. Even his smile proved everything was right. He couldn't believe it…

He was contemplating the shocking discovery when a strong thought emanated from the woman.

/I whish I could see him again… just once… to tell him about Alex…/

It was her only regret. She didn't wish him to take care of his son, to act as a father. She knew it wasn't in his nature. He was so free. He was so beautiful. She couldn't blame him for anything, it would have been unfair…

Schuldig shut his mind. He didn't want to know more. It was hurting him. His head pulsed furiously. 

"Dinner's ready!"

She came cheerfully holding a pasta dish. She put it on the table, then considered the two only chairs… two chairs, three persons…

"I'd rather sit on the bed."

"Are you sure? It must be quite inconvenient…"

"It's ok."

"Well then…"

She pushed the small table to move it closer to the bed, watching carefully that the dish didn't fall over. She then took both chairs and put them to the table. She took Alex in her arms and sat him on the right chair. She then finished to set the table. During all the process, Schuldig observed her easy smile and the explicit signs of affection towards her son. In spite of all the hardships she had to face, she was happy. He just couldn't understand that. He couldn't understand the way her mind worked. She was a mystery to him. The only other person that had given him difficulties of comprehension was Farfarello. He knew him of course, and he knew what was on his mind. But what he didn't know was why. With Cécile it was the same. He couldn't figure out why she was happy. And it quite impressed him.

She was really glad to have a guest, even if she had not much to offer. It was a very rare occasion. She had no real friends for she had no time to spend with them. She had to work hard to make a living…

They dinned enjoying a shared good mood. The kid was always laughing, Sylvie couldn't stop talking, and Schuldig listened to her long speech, saying something from times to times. He was experiencing something he never thought he would know. He was experiencing the warmth of a family. And he really liked it. He tried hard to behave properly, for he didn't want to shock the two innocent people he was with. No curses, no mind games… It was a real break in his life. 

The time soon came when he had to go. Alex was already sleeping on the bed he was sitting on, just behind him. He felt the kid had clutched the end of his shirt in his small hand. He moved gently so as not to wake him and stood. It had been six hours since he had fainted, and he was now perfectly well. The evening air was cooler, and he could walk back to the Schwarz flat. 

"You are sure you don't want me to call a taxi?"

She really seemed concerned, and it quite embarrassed him.

"Naan… it's ok. I really feel good now."

She had accompanied him to the building entrance. She quite regretted that he had to go for she liked him. He was stunned to see that he could still win someone's interest which had nothing to do with business or sex. It was very pleasant. 

"Then promise to come and see me again, ne?"

He smiled. It was the first time he smiled naturally for ages, a beautiful good humored smile.

"Don't worry, you'll see me again soon!"

She smiled back. She was really pleased to hear that. It was so easy to make her happy. And her happiness was contagious. 

"I really have to go now, or my boss gonna slice me to make sushi."

A melodic laugh answered.

"See ya!"

"Feel free to come anytime you want!"

She was looking at him as he left, walking in the almost deserted street. When he disappeared at the corner of a building, she went back to her small flat. Schuldig still linked his mind to hers, just curious to know what she was thinking about. She was glad to have a new friend. Schuldig smiled. Him, considered as a friend? It was really funny. Nobody could have told such a stupid thing. But she did, and she really meant it. A new feeling grew in the German, more deep and intensive as seconds went by… 

He had realized he had not thanked her. Geez! He was stupid! What could he do to fix it? He thought about it a few minutes when he had the idea of the century. He would send her flowers. Yeah! He could do it for her! He really wanted her to be happy, and it was the only thing she wished with all her heart…

-Part Three_owari-

the crazy girl stroke again! (that's me…) :P

I've always thought Schuldig enjoyed his mind games and tortures, but sometimes regretted them. Particularly when he hurts those he loves…(well, if it's possible that he loves someone). It's only my opinion of course… so give me yours! Schuldig is a very interesting character, coz he's evil but attractive! ::drools:: and his mind is really hard to understand! I wonder how he was originally imagined when the series was being made…

I'm not used to young children so I don't know how to what extend they can speak. And even more if I knew it would only be in French. The French I used is bad French, my interpretation of children's babbling. I haven't translated coz it's a Schuldig POV, and I wanted my dear readers to feel like him. Gomen if it's wrong… 


	4. Cleaning and Cooking

Omikun

Omikun

Started 03/06/01

What I Want

Part four

****

Cleaning and Cooking

It was growing dark. He worshiped darkness. It gave him the impression he was a monster that lurked in the shadow, waiting for his victim to come. And they always came. There were thousands of them walking idly in the street. He just had to pick one or two, and enjoy the pain he was causing. He was a slayer, and that hurt God. He slowly annihilated the Creation. He was the end of times. And he had a bloody day.

Only a few hours ago he had visited a church. Not for its architecture or to pray. No. He had entered the church and had converted it into a living hell. Inside of it his victims had unconsciously awaited his arrival. He hadn't betrayed them, he had come, and had started his mass. Now the religious ritual had ended, and he felt deliciously good. Red stains covered his black clothes. He had walked in the streets, meeting God's children everywhere, and no one had seen the stains. The blood was still wet, yet on a black suit it was almost invisible. But Farfarello felt the contact of the drenched cloth on his skin, and smelled its gorgeous flavor. It gave him satisfaction. It gave him pleasure. It gave him power. It gave him the need to do it again. However he had already a big day and if he didn't go back to the Schwarz flat, Brad's anger would equal the Devil's.

It was almost midnight when he finally reached the flat's door. He opened it and found the place dark and still. He wondered where were the others. He shut the door and listened carefully. He heard the faint rhythm of music far away. It was most likely Nagi in his room. Brad was probably working in his own room, and as for Schuldig… only the Devil knew where he could be. At this hour he usually went to a nightclub to find a new toy. Or maybe he had decided to harass that Weiss boy, Kenken, or the blond sexy guy that was his friend. Schuldig was attracted by the womanizer. The fact that his enemy was straight excited him beyond imagination. Whenever he had some time to spend, he went to see if he could tease him. It was his favorite game, and each time he came back with a wicked grin of satisfaction. Farfarello wondered if the German ever obtained what he desired…

Darkness. The flat was all darkness. It was very comforting. He decided not to switch the light on. He walked calmly in the room, yet he could see nothing. The curtains were still drawn, thus the light of the city were blocked and couldn't enlighten the place. He tried to remind the disposition of the flat they had moved in only three weeks ago, so as not to bump in a wall or anything. He didn't want to leave bloody spots here and there on his way, it would drive Brad mad. Not that the American could do him anything, but he could really be irritating. So he walked carefully… or tried.

He had never expected boxes to be stored in the middle of the room. And when his foot banged in one of them, he noisily fell on them all. And here he was, lying amongst boxes…

Then came the light.

Nagi stood at the end of the corridor that led to their rooms. He had just switched on the light and was staring at Farfarello, who tried to get off the cartons. 

"You know this thing we human beings call switch? It's really convenient you should try. "

He walked cross the room and got the boxes to their original place. 

"We move again?"

Farfarello had managed to get out of the mess. Nagi answered without looking:

"No. New work for Brad."

Farfarello contemplated the tons of documents filling the boxes. Their leader would be really irritated for the next month at least. 

"Pffffff… you stained some files…"

Not a good thing.

"By the way, Brad came back two hours ago. When he saw the couch I thought he was having a heart attack. He asked me to tell you to get off the stain somehow. And before he comes back. You'd better hurry."

Farfarello looked at the bloody couch, and thought it was nicer this way. But it wasn't at everybody's taste. Too bad.

"And remove your clothes before you start. You'll never fix it if you go on staining everything around."

Nagi was getting on his nerves. He decided to try something à la Schuldig. He obediently took off his shirt, then his pants. Nagi furiously blushed and hurried back to his lair. Farfarello smirked and thought the German had some interesting manners. Being influenced by Schuldig could be fun. He went to his own room and put on new clothes. Then he headed to the kitchen and started looking for something to clean the couch. He was used to get off blood from his clothes, but not off furniture. He doubted his potential success, but he had to try or evil Brad would make a fuss. Under the sink there was a bunch of diverse sprays that served to clean different things one could find in a house. He took several products as he didn't know which one would do, wondering why they had such a huge collection of useless (?) utensils. He brought them in the living room, let them drop on the floor and started to examine the labels. The first one aimed at cleaning carpets. The second was for wallpapers. Another one was for… bathrooms??? Hmmm… not this one… none for couches? … It would not be easy…

After having sorted out the sprays, he finally decided to try three of them. He hold the first one, clicked, saw the liquid attack a particularly red and prominent stain, and realized he had forgot to take something to wipe it. He went to the kitchen, took a rag, back at the couch, and saw that the stain had disappeared… with the blue color of the couch. Now it wasn't a red stain, but a very pale blue one. Kuso! How would he fix that? 

"I'm cursed…"

He wiped the remaining liquid with the rag, and some of the bright blue with it again. He stared at the devilish piece of furniture, fighting with the part of him that wanted to tear it apart. 

It was one of his most difficult battles. But after an hour he had finally managed to get the stains, or most of it. Some pale red remained here and there, between two pale blue marks. After all the blood had had more than 24 hours to dry on the cloth. Now the couch was bright blue, light blue and light red. Brad wouldn't appreciate. 

But Farfarello did not mind now. He had basically done what he had been asked. For him the matter was closed. He stood up and began to put all the products to their place in the kitchen. Another difficulty: he didn't remember where he had found all the products. He tried to put them all under the sink but there was not enough room. He tried hard not to threw them in the garbage can, and looked for another place to get rid of them. He didn't bother much and put them on the first empty cupboard he found. There was a book lying on the shelf. 

"Uh? A cooking book?"

Another mystery to solve. Was there an hidden cooker within Schwarz? He imagined successively his teammates with an apron… no one fitted the suit. Nevertheless it reminded him he had not eaten for two days now. Being hungry did not bother him, but he didn't want to faint because of hypoglycemia. So he had a look in the fridge. It looked desperately empty. It only contained beers, some meat and eggs.

He peered at the eggs. That should do. He took the entire box of eggs, the butter, wished he had milk, took a bowl and a frying pan, salt, pepper… and began to cook an omelet. 

Crack… one egg. Then the second… nine eggs. He knew he wouldn't eat the whole omelet, but it was much more fun to cook a very big one, and he enjoyed breaking eggs. Then he thought about the eggs, which were actually ex-future-chicks. Dead future-chicks. He appreciated the idea, and stirred his fork in the bowl while adding salt and pepper. He felt sad they were already dead. 

When he evaluated that he had whipped the eggs enough, he poured the liquid in the hot and buttered frying pan. Its scent started to spread in the air. 

Farfarello heard a soft footstep behind him. Nagi was standing at the kitchen entrance, staring at him in wonder. 

"You're…cooking?"

Nagi came closer and watched what was in the pan. He seemingly didn't understand what was happening. Sure it was really unusual. Who would have expected the Devil to cook? The boy jumped on the work-top and observed his elder's movements. 

"It's not your first time…"

"I used to cook omelets before joining Schwarz. I like eggs. The book on the cupboard is yours?"

"Aa. Cooking is good for nerves. I'll set the table."

He jumped down and took the necessary utensils for two. He sat at the table when Farfarello made the omelet slide in a plate with a swift move of his wrist. They both contemplated the appealing food before taking their parts. However Nagi waited to see his friend's reaction before starting to eat. As he saw that Farfarello was eating normally with no particular sign of discomfort or suffocation, he took his fork.

"Itadakimasu."

Farfarello watched him as he put the first piece of egg in his mouth. The boy seemed to appreciate the dish. They ate in silence. They didn't know what to say, and they had no real need nor will to talk. They were used to eat with the two other Schwarz members, and only those two talked during their lunches. Brad always talked business… or scolded them. Schuldig always continued his twisted mind game. 

Yet after a while, Nagi felt the need to talk. He was staring at the psycho's quiet face and wondered how his mind worked. The question really bothered him, but he couldn't ask Schuldig to tell him everything he had read in his mind. If so, Schuldig would tease him again. Then he had to figure it out.

"What are you planning to do for the couch?"

Farfarello pondered the question a few seconds then answered with a soft voice:

"Buy a new one?"

"…"

"Have you ever stabbed someone?"

Nagi frooze.

"No."

"Wanna try?"

"Not really."

"You're missing something."

"I don't mind."

The door of the flat slammed. They heard a whistle coming from the living room, and Schuldig walked in the kitchen. When he saw the two of them eating something that had nothing to do with take-away food, he stopped dead. 

"Who cooked?"

Nagi pointed at Farfarello.

"It's poisoned?"

Farfarello's evil grin.

"Try and see…"

"No thanx! I've already had dinner anyway. The couch, it's your job? Brad's gonna get mad. It's forever ruined. Had a nice day?"

"I hurt God."

"Good. And what about your koibito, Nagi?"

"He's not my koibito. Tomodachi da."

"Oh? And you kiss all your friends? You never kissed me…"

"Maybe because you're not my friend."

Schuldig pretended to look upset.

"Really? Gotta change that…"

The redhead bend and kissed the stunned kid. Nagi was so taken aback he didn't even react. Schuldig didn't try to make it a deep kiss, but it was far enough to disturb the teen. Then the man broke apart.

"From now on we're friends."

He turned to Farfarello and kissed him fiercely. The psycho kissed him back with the same vigor. There was no contact between them except their lips.

"We're already friends but I always enjoy a kiss…and a fuck too. I'm going to have a shower, so if one of you, or both, wanna join me…"

He left hands in pockets and smile on his face.

Farfarello thought all this friendship wasn't going to hurt God. However it was agreeable. Nagi was frowning, only realizing what had happened. He licked his lips and threw Farfarello a inquisitive glance.

"What's happening with him? He's…different…"

Farfarello shrugged. Schuldig had always behaved this way with him. 

They heard a scream from the living room. Brad had just come back and seen the couch. He appeared in the kitchen ready to shout, but he froze when he saw them. Nagi decided to answer the expected question before it was uttered.

"Farfarello cooked."

"Nani?!? It's poisoned?"

Both omelet-eaters smiled. Brad and Schuldig were born to be together.

The American took a fork and tasted. 

"Quite good… I'll take some in my room. I've got to work."

"We saw that."

"We'll have a discussion soon, Farfarello. And you with too, Nagi. Where's Schuldig? He came back?"

"In the bathroom."

"He told you where he was?"

"Nope."

"That bastard! Disappearing when I needed him! I'll have him buy a mobile…"

"He's a telepath. He can contact you whenever he wants."

"Sure he can… when _he_ wants, not when _I_ want. And _I_ can't join him."

He left with a plate filled with omelet. Farfarello heard him knock on the bathroom's door.

"Come in! It's open!" Schuldig seemed really satisfied that someone came to see him.

"Don't joke! I don't have time for that!"

"Brad?"

"Of course it's me! Just where the hell were you? You disappeared for 7 hours!…"

Brad screamed for about 5 minutes nonstop. The two younger members of Schwarz finished their lunch, but hesitated to move. They preferred waiting till their leader was locked in his room, just in case he wanted to pass his nerves on them. Then the speech ended.

"Ok ok! Gomen! I won't do it again, oka-san! Now ya're sure you don't wanna have a shower with me?"

Brad muttered something incomprehensible and slammed the door of his room, causing Schuldig's laughter. 

Nagi stood up and began to clear the table.

"What about Kenken?"

The kid frowned. Farfarello was kidding or was he serious?

"Nothing to say. I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"You hurt him?"

Blush.

"N…no."

Farfarello thought the kid maybe misunderstood his question. But he went on anyway.

"I want to hurt the whole world. I want to hurt God. I want Hell."

-Part Four_owari-

I really enjoyed writing this part ! As always I wanted to stay as close as possible to the original characters…(have I succeeded?)…but I wanted to write something really funny! And writing something funny about Farfarello without changing his nature was kinda hard! Farfie seems to be one of the less famous characters in Weiss Kreuz, and I think that's unfair, coz he's really cool. So do you like this chapter? Wanna taste Farfie's omelet? ::evil laugh::


	5. Gimme a Break!!!

Omikun

Omikun

Started 05/06/01

What I Want

Part Five

****

Gimme a Break!!!

It seemed the weather indisposed customers. Except for its clerks, the Koneko was empty. Desperately empty. Yohji sighed. It wasn't good for them. How could they get money without any customer? And their little night job wasn't going well too. They had had no mission for almost a whole long month. And Yohji was getting bored. It's not that he liked to work… Of course not… But this forced total inactivity was killing him. 

Somehow he was quite relieved that those girls who had witnessed his misadventure were not here to remind it to him. He was sure now that the story had gone round the whole bunch of high schools of Tokyo. He tried hard not to think about it, but it was hopeless. He would have to live with the idea that on this one day he had been the most ridiculous man in the world. He sighed again. How could he manage that? He had been through hardships and had always survived. But right now it seemed to him that this one case was impossible. He just kept viewing the whole scene again. It was really disturbing. And he had nothing, absolutely nothing to keep his mind at work. He was growing mad. Another sigh.

"What about the… Hey! Yohji! Wake up, man!"

Yohji's elbow slipped on the table and his head fell. He felt a glance. Ken was staring at him. he realized that maybe his friend had talked to him and he had not answered. Apologetic smile.

"You were saying?"

Ken frowned . He didn't like that idleness. He was an active man! An athlete! And Yohji knew he was suffering from this inactivity too.

"You know, Yohji, I don't think we'll have any customer now. What about shutting the shop?"

Yohji sat straight. Close the shop? What a supra good idea! This way he could go and find some chick unconsciously waiting for him at some bar… He would have fun! At least some action!

Ken laughed when he saw his renewed energy. He knew Yohji perfectly and must have guessed his thoughts. Yohji was aware of that but it didn't bother him, on the contrary he liked not to have to explain everything to his friend. He had the best friends on Earth. And to think they had an argument only two days ago. 

Since the minute Ken had left the table, Yohji had wished he had shut his big mouth. He regretted everything. When he had gone to see Omi, the kid was crying. He had had too much pressure, and Yohji had been the last straw. He apologized, hold him tenderly in his arms till the sobs had ended, kissed him on the forehead and had asked to take his shift for the shop. Omi first didn't believe him, then disagreed, and finally capitulated. Yohji could really be stubborn, and he knew some day off was vital for his young friend. Omi had thanked him, and Yohji went to the shop, waiting for Ken. He wanted to tell him how much he was sorry for this stupid behavior. But Ken had stayed out all day long, till late in the evening actually. Yohji had been quite worried because it wasn't in the lad's habits. Aya felt concerned too, he knew that. Even though he said nothing and showed nothing, Yohji had seen him stand at the door of the shop watching if Ken was coming back. Yohji had mentally laughed, for the leader of Weiss tried to hide his feelings, but he couldn't fight them. and what was really funny was that he was always pretending to water flowers… the same flowers each time. Those poor plants had been watered at least 8 times this one day. Of course it had been fatal. And Aya…had taken great care to throw them away without being noticed. It wasn't on counting on Yohji. He saw everything and knew everything. He was the most perceptive member of Weiss. And he was quite proud of that. 

Then Ken had finally come back. It was almost midnight, and Aya had welcome him with a scold. Ken had blushed, Aya was boiling. Omi was sleeping. Yohji had come and told Aya it was the very proof he cared much for Ken. Both of them had blushed. I had burst into laughter. Ken had come to me… and apologized. He had apologized for the boxers, for not seeing he was wrong, and for having laughed when Yohji had fell on the floor in front of all those girls. Yohji had listened attentively to the little speech. He had smiled at Ken, and apologized for having blamed Ken and not himself, and for his cruel and unjustified behavior. Both of them had smiled, then laughed. Aya had harshly said to shut up, Omi was sleeping. And everything went right.

Yohji smiled at the memory of this event. It sure was a very good one. He had never felt that close to his friends. He loved them. And this happiness was what he had needed for ages but had not found. Now it was here… except that he was seriously getting bored. 

Yohji and Ken went out of the shop and were about to shut it when they heard the phone ring. They exchanged glances.

"What do we do?" Yohji wanted to go as quick as possible, but he felt Ken would have his own opinion, and he didn't want to abandon his friend.

"We need the money…" Ken hurried to the phone.

Yohji sighed and leant against the door of the shop, lighting a cigarette. Sure some money would be a benefit… at least to buy some food… they had been forced to watch carefully to their spending, just in case the situation didn't improve. Yohji didn't want to starve and thus loose his sex appeal being skinny. 

"Moshi moshi! Koneko no Sum…"

Yohji frowned. Ken had suddenly interrupted and turned white. The boy listened carefully to what his interlocutor was saying. Then he took a pencil and noted down the order. But Yohji felt there was something wrong. He was silent, and as pale as a dead. He hanged up the phone without thanking the customer or nothing. It was definitely strange.

As ken didn't reacted, Yohji felt he had to press him a bit.

"Oi! Ken! Doshita?"

Ken startled and looked at Yohji with a I-don't-know-what-to-do look. He finally decided to utter a few words.

"A special delivery…"

"And? What else?" 

"… I'll tell Omi and Aya to come…"

As Ken took the phone and called their friends, Yohji wondered what was going on. Ken really seemed shocked by the call, and it was unusual. It couldn't be a mission, for neither Manx nor Birman would have called… So what? An enemy? Schwarz? Yohji doubted it… Ken had said it was a special delivery… A wedding? Maybe they had to prepare the flowers for the century's biggest wedding, and had to finish the job in a short lapse of time. Yohji prayed that it wasn't that… everything but working hard with such a heat, should he be skinny!

"Aya will be here in 10 minutes, and Omi was sleeping in his room…"

"Was?"

"The phone woke him."

As if he had known they talked about him, Omi appeared in the shop, only wearing his pajamas. He was rubbing his eyes and was almost sleeping as he tottered.

"Now that's unfair, Ken-kun! You know I've been learning my math lessons all night long for the exams!" 

"Go and dress up, Omi. We've got a meeting in the basement in 10 minutes."

Omi frowned. He slowly realized something went wrong. He went back to his room.

Ken was anxious. Yohji was looking at him from the corner of his eyes. 

"I guess you won't tell me what's going on?"

Ken sighed. 

"I'd rather have to tell this only once… so wait for the others… onegai…"

"Ok. Now go in the meeting room and prepare your speech. I'll wait for Aya."

Ken smiled shyly and left. Yohji was feeling nervous, and he didn't like that. He was used to missions… to killing people… to the possibility of being killed… but not to the wait before what seemed to be bad news.

Less than 8 minutes after they were in the basements. Aya was even darker than usual and was fixing Ken with a wondering look. Omi was dressed up, but had put his short inside out. Yohji was smoking against the wall, and Ken was pacing up and down. When Aya started to groan, he stopped and talked.

"We had a call… we've got a delivery."

Omi frowned. Yohji laughed.

"I thought it was our job…"

Ken's glance was terribly serious.

"The customer is… Schuldig."

They all gasped. Their minds started to work with the speed of the light.

"Schu…Schuldig? From Schwarz?"

"Thought ya were more clever Omi… of course it's that Schuldig. See Ken's reaction! But what I want to know is whether he called the shop knowing who we were or not…"

Yohji had a point here. Maybe it was only a coincidence…

"He knows who we are… called me Kenken…"

They all started to think on their own. Aya broke the silence.

"What did he want?"

That was Aya for you. Always practical. He always went straight to the point. 

"He wants us to deliver flowers… especially one of us…"

Ken looked at Yohji, and Aya and Omi followed the gaze. Yohji gasped.

"M…me?"

Kuso! What did the psycho want to do? Play with him again? Harass him? Yohji had already suffered several of his attacks, and had the luck to have escaped them all… but he wasn't sure he would win forever… Schuldig was much stronger than him, but the German enjoyed difficulties. Yohji knew the more he fought, the more the redhead enjoyed the game. But one day the Schwarz guy would get bored with the preliminaries… and would take him willing or not. That would mean rape, for Yohji would never sleep with a guy, especially with this bastard. He shivered at the thought.

"It's certainly a trap…"

Omi looked really preoccupied now, and Yohji thought he was evaluating all the possibilities. But what kept his attention was Ken's expression. He was hiding something.

"Do suru?"

Their leader took things in hand.

"Omi… you check the address. See if there's something unusual."

"Hai!"

The kid took the paper where the address was noted from Ken's hands and went to his computer.

"Ken, you prepare the composition."

Ken nodded. He seemed reassured by Aya's confidence. 

"Yohji, you mind the shop."

"Uh? But…"

Aya's threatening glance.

"Ha…hai!"

"I'll tell Kritiker. And tomorrow, we'll all do the delivery with our weapons, but we'll wear our working suits."

They all nodded and parted.

"It's the red building on the left."

Omi pointed at a large building. It was seemingly very old, and badly kept. The district was very poor. As a private, Yohji had often had the opportunity to come there, and had rather never come back. It was an unhealthy place, filled with junkies and killers. He wondered if Schuldig didn't expected them not to even reach the flat where they had to deliver the flowers. Or maybe he had hired a group of furyos to fight them… but Yohji doubted it. He knew well enough the German to know that he would rather take care of them on his own. 

The car stopped. Aya turned the key and put it in his pocket. It would be disturbing if a bastard stole his car. Aya would hunt him till the end of his days.

The redhead took his katana wrapped in a cloth and turned to Omi, who had managed to hide his darts under his shirt. Yohji had his watch, the most convenient weapon in this case. But Ken had to give up his bugnuk. It would have been too noticeable to see him wear gloves with this heat. But he wasn't without defense. Aya had consented to lend him another katana he had. The chocolate-eyed man wasn't at ease with this weapon, and Yohji hoped he would be fine.

"The flat is rented since 2 years by a young woman and her child. She seems to be clean, but I can't say for sure… no direct connection with Schwarz… even with their previous bosses… but maybe we're not supposed to reach the point of delivery…"

Yohji smiled. The kid wasn't a dumb. They all had to be very careful before entering the building. They started for it. Aya and Omi soon disappeared. They had to check the exits. Yohji and Ken waited some meters from the entrance, waiting for their signal. Yohji took advantage of the wait to have a look at Ken. The young man was carrying the flowers. He seemed determined but anxious. 

"What are you hiding?"

Ken blinked. He turned into a resigned look.

"After all that I'll have to confess something to you…"

They received the signal and entered the building. The flat was four stories above. They carefully reached the right floor and met their two friends in front of the right door.

"Everything seems ok. Maybe it's only a delivery…"

Yohji thought Omi was too optimistic. Schuldig sending flowers to a woman? It was hard to imagine. And asking his worst enemies to deliver them? It was impossible.

"Get ready."

Yohji took the flowers from Ken. After all he was the one who was supposed to deliver them. He knocked at the door, and all of them took hold of their weapons.

A feminine voice answered behind the door.

"Yes?"

"Konnichiwa. Hanaya-san. Delivery."

Yohji wasn't in the mood to pretend to be nice.

"A delivery? Wait…"

They heard key turning in the lock, and the door opened on a young and charming European woman. Yohji gasped. The woman watched him and stopped dead.

"Masaka… Yohji?"

Yohji was totally taken aback. He didn't expected to know the woman they were supposed to deliver Schuldig's flowers. Both of them were looking intensely at the other, while the other Weiss members were witnessing the event, gaping and wondering what was going on.

"Yohji… you know her?"

Yohji nodded. He didn't know who spoke and it didn't mattered. This situation was too weird for him.

The woman finally reacted. She smiled and invited them inside.

Aya was about to deny the invitation, but Yohji was already inside. He groaned and the three of them followed their elder.

"You just can't imagine how I'm happy to see you! And puzzled too… but so happy! Come in! Wait, I'll take the flowers… feel at ease! You are his friends? Yes? Good! Come and have a sit! I'll prepare some tea…"

The woman was very excited, and thus talked very fast. Yohji entered the main room and felt sorry for her to live in such a place. It was small and dirty. 

"We haven't met for some time! You remember my name? Sylvie!"

"Shi… Shirubi?"

She giggled.

"You never managed to pronounce it correctly!"

All of them were in the room, and didn't know how to behave. Actually only Aya was still aware of a potential danger. He was standing next to Yohji, then went to the window to keep an eye on the outside as well as the inside of the building. Ken and Omi sat on the bed. Yohji was definitely nervous. He understood nothing. And the others seemed to be in his case. He was trying to find an explication, but no one satisfied him. Then he saw the child.

Ken and Omi were playing with a small child that had come to them from nowhere. It was a very young boy, blond with green eyes, a smile constantly on his face. Ken and Omi smiled back as the kid was playing with Ken's key ring. Yohji had a very strange feeling.

"I wanted to see you again, to tell you…"

Sylvie had came back from the kitchen and was standing close to Yohji. He looked at her. He half expected what she was about to say, but he couldn't admit it. He couldn't admit the truth.

Aya had stopped scrutinizing the place and was now staring at Yohji with a look his friend had never seen. He had understood what Yohji refused to understand. His heart was beating vehemently.

"What the…"

Ken and Omi rose their heads. They were feeling something too, and threw inquisitive looks. The child jumped on Ken's lap and smiled broadly to everybody. Yohji thought he was beautiful.

He took his courage in both hands.

"He's your… son?"

"Yes. And yours."

His heart stopped to beat. 

Aya, Ken and Omi were gapping, speechless. They never had expected to witness that someday… and particularly that day among others. They looked at Yohji, then at the kid, back at Yohji…

"Yohji-kun is… father?"

Yohji shivered at Omi's words. No. It was impossible. He couldn't… could he? Sure he had… but…no! How can he…how would he… what can he…

A thousand questions filled his mind all at once. He still couldn't admit the truth. Yet as he was looking at the child, he thought there was something about him that reminded of Yohji. They had the same jade eyes… the same natural beauty…

Aya cut short his wondering state asking Sylvie how did she knew Schuldig.

"Schuldig? But how…"

"The flowers."

She went to fetch the card that went with the flowers. She read it and smiled. 

"Schuldig… He's a friend of yours? Just two days ago he fainted in front of my door. I couldn't leave him lying in the street, so I brought him in."

Yohji was paying attention to the conversation. His gaze was stuck on the child that was pulling Omi's hair. This child was his son? They had expected a violent fight, and now he had a son? It sounded impossible.

"Are you sure he's mine?"

Sylvie, who was talking with an angry Aya, looked at Yohji, blushing furiously.

"Quite, yes."

Yohji was still petrified by the news. The cheerful child was laughing loud. Of course he couldn't realize what was being said. And anyway he was much too preoccupied to torture Ken's nose.

"Omedetou, Yohji-kun!"

"Yeah! It's great!"

Omi and Ken's smiles comforted him and gave him some of his strength back. However he started to stammer.

"But but but what am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever you want. I just wanted you to know."

The woman pressed his shoulder. He saw she was anxious too, and it was because of him. He had to take hold of himself. Everything would be fine. He just needed some time to think about it. His whole world had suffered a deep change, and he had to find the way to handle it. How old could be the kid? He hadn't seen Sylvie for 3 years… and they had lived in such an unhealthy place all this time?

He took a paper in his pocket, wrote something and hold the paper to Sylvie.

"It's my phone number. Call me."

It was the first time _he_ gave _his_ number to a woman.

She nodded. He started for the door, and the others followed him. As he was opening the door, he had a glance backward, at his son.

"What's his name?"

"Alexandre, or Alex."

"Arekusu… I'll come back soon."

They walked silently in the corridor. Yohji was fixing the floor, while Omi and Ken were looking at him, and Aya was anticipating for danger. They emerged from the building. Yohji stopped, looked at the bright sky, and said at his friends' surprise:

"I owe Schuldig one."

But why had their enemy did something for Yohji? Had he expected it to be embarrassing for Yohji? Or maybe it wasn't for Yohji, but for Sylvie. Yohji couldn't believe that the psycho could be grateful. Yet Sylvie seemed to like him the way she talked about him. Really, Yohji had never had such an exhausting day!

"I need a cigarette…"

"Oi! Yohji-kun! You should stop smoking now!"

"Now?"

"Yeah, Omi's right! You're going to show him the wrong example!" Ken was smiling broadly.

"Hey! I never said I would take care of him!"

Both assassins grinned. They knew he was lying. An argument broke between the three of them as Aya went to the car. They suddenly heard their leader curse. Aya was unsheathing his katana as he was looking for something in the street.

"Oi! Aya! Doshita?"

"One of those bastards has burst the tires of _my_ car! If I catch him I'll…"

They all came to the car. The four tires were flat. 

Yohji sighed, consternated. They had no money, and couldn't even take the chikatetsu. They would have to walk home under a hellish sun. It would take hours. And after that they would have to open the shop…

Suddenly Yohji felt his strength abandon him. He opened the car and conveniently lied down on the back seat to have a rest. He folded his arms behind his head and sighed. He wanted this tiring day to end.

-Part Five_owari-

hehehe…I wrote this coz I wondered how Yohji would react if he learnt he had a child…and of course I couldn't help but add some funny lines…I rather like the end, don't you? Among all the wk bishounen, Yohji is my fave (he shares the first place with Omi). Another very complicated character… the more complicated they are, the more I like them! 

For those who may wonder, I'm not Sylvie. She's French coz I wanted to add an European character, and well…I know French people the best! (how come? =P). Sylvie is the name of an old friend of mine whom I lost sight of very suddenly, I don't know why and I never was able to contact her. I hope you're happy, Sylvie! You had such a beautiful smile! You taught me to be genki! And I thank you for that and for these 2 beautiful years spent with you!

And thanx for all of you who reviewed my fic! ::glomps:: I tried to change it a bit to make it easier to understand. Is it better? Sorry I had written this part quite a while ago now, and I couldn't rewrite it! See you in part 6! I'll post it in about one week!


	6. I Need You

Omikun

Omikun

What I Want

Part six

****

I Need You

Things have quite changed here. The atmosphere is far friendlier, and now I almost don't despise my teammates. Well… there are some limits to that new feeling. Especially for Schuldig. He's still an asshole, a bastard that enjoys playing with his so-called friends' minds. But strangely enough, his mood has suddenly grown more cheerful. He's not really nicer… but he tortures us much less than usual. And I really appreciate the new situation. As for Farfarello, since that dinner we had together, he decided to cook eggs every morning. Yeah, exactly, Farfarello cooks. I thought it far more impossible than the return of his ability to sense pain. Maybe there's a God, after all… but I'm not of the kind to think there's a superior being above us all. And I'm only faithful to me and me alone. And that's unnerving our dear leader. 

Actually, Brad is the only one here not to have changed. He's still always working. No. I'm wrong. He works much more. He hasn't stopped for two weeks, and the boxes that contain his reports are gradually filling the corridor. Thankfully we're due to move in 18 days, so everything will be ok then, I hope. Yet I don't like the idea of moving each month. I'd rather settle somewhere once and for all. Not that I hate doing my packs, but I have to do it just when I started to enjoy the place, and it's anyway far too frequent to my taste. I guess it's part of our job… I wish we had a cover job as Weiss. But I can't imagine the other members of Schwarz in apron, smiling and selling flowers… and I wonder if we could get customers…I think we would frighten them actually, especially Farfarello. That could be fun though. I enjoy the idea. Maybe I should quit Schwarz to join Weiss. But I don't really share Weiss' point of view; I'm closer to Schwarz, so I'd better stay here. 

"Don't eat that fast! You'll strangle yourself to death!" Crawford always seems to take care of us. Part of his task: if we're not healthy, we can't do our job correctly. He's more likely spying on us, and Schuldig enjoys the game.

"And you would miss me, Brad-chan?" The German smiles broadly. Sometimes he really acts like a brat.

Brad snorts. He is reading the newspapers eating his eggs. Farfarello is silently observing his knife killing his eggs, while Schuldig is literally devouring them. 

"I would miss your skills."

"My bed skills? Sure ya won't find better than me to…"

"Urusei! I enjoy quiet breakfasts!" Brad hides his faint blushing face behind his newspapers.

Schuldig wears a wide mocking grin. Still an asshole as I said. I hurry to eat my eggs and stand up. 

"You finally decided to move?" Brad was looking at me from above his newspapers. I nod, take my plate and leave the table. 

"Your koibito must be happy to have such a cute ass spending days waiting for him to phone…" That was Schuldig for you. He's playing with his fork, and gives me a lustful eyeing. I passed the week in my room, waiting for Ken to phone. But my mobile remained silent. I depressed. And I had to stay in the same flat than Schuldig for a whole week, since the psycho couldn't go out because of his troubles with heat. Thus I had to lock myself in my room, so that I couldn't be aggressed. If Schuldig had broken the door, Brad would have killed him, or at least bounced him from his bed. And Schuldig couldn't stand that. So he let me alone. Anyway he had the lunches to tease me, and I am quite stunned he didn't took more advantages of these short laps of time. He's changed.

Brad raises an eyebrow. He has been absent the whole week so he hadn't witnessed our previous arguments.

"Koibito?" He seems to be suspicious. I'm sure he's thinking about Tot. He had always disapproved of our relation partly because we all knew she was an enemy and had to die. If he knows about Ken, I'll live my worst hour. I mentally insult Schuldig, who smiles back at me as he hears the curse. 

"Nothing serious, he only needs a fuck and dares not asking his friends."

"We'll have to talk about that later, Nagi. Anyway be back here by 5 for the appointment."

I bow and leave the room. I wonder why Schuldig didn't tell him everything. He's really strange. It gives me some time to sort out my feelings and find an excuse though. Or another interpretation of the reality. But anyway it's not what preoccupies me right now. Schuldig is right as usual, I'm going to see Ken. During this week spent cloistered in my room I had plenty of time to think about Ken. Even now as I walk I think of him. I can't help but thinking of him all day long, and I must admit I dream of him too. It's really disturbing. I hate being disturbed as well as being passive. So I'm on my way to see Ken in order to find a solution, or at least understand what's happening to me. 

The heat attacks me as soon as I exit the air-conditioned building. It's as if I had walked into an invisible wall, and my head starts to bang slowly but surely. I've been used to the flat's cool synthetic air, and the return to reality is harder than expected. But I ordered myself a task, and I always achieve what I've begun. I decide to walk slowly though, I don't want to fall ill because I wouldn't have used my brain and avoid too many efforts with this weather. And I need to see Ken. 

I remember him perfectly. We spend a whole afternoon together, and a part of the evening too. I had all the leisure to observe him, watch his beautiful face, admire the fluidity of his gestures. I learnt all the small features of his face and body, and passed them in my head again and again as I waited his call. I think I've never been so disappointed. Something inside me broke. And now Ken has to cure me. 

Of course I'm aware it's dangerous for me, and for my relationship with Ken, to go and visit him at the flower shop. However I just can't imagine living in my present state of mind. I'm truly sick, so dangerous or not I'm going to see the Weiss bishounen. If the situation evolves badly, in the worst case I can use my telekinesis. I don't know if I could handle all of them, but it would allow me to escape. And I know Ken would never hurt me, or let his friends hurt me. So I guess everything's ok. But what if they learn about us? They could hold Ken a grudge… have a fight with him… I don't want Ken to lose his friends because of me… I don't know if he would forgive me, but anyway he would be depressed and I couldn't bear his sadness. I hope to see Ken and only him so that things would be easier.

For Weiss I'm part of Schwarz, their deadly enemy. I'm not Nagi. They don't know how I feel, how my mind works. They don't expect me to be a human being just like themselves. I'm just a Schwarz member. That's most likely what all of Weiss think. Except Ken. He saw me as myself, and not as the image he had of me. He accepted me as I am, and before him only Brad had done that. But Ken is not like Brad. Brad uses me for business. Ken isn't using me. If he had used me, he would have phoned. But maybe I'm wrong. I wonder why he didn't call. I hope I won't be too angry to hold myself. I don't wanna fight with him. I've been waiting for his call a whole week, and during all this time I've been anxious and unproductive. I've lived one of the worst weeks in my life. And it was my first time for such a matter of less importance. Pfffffff… I shouldn't think about it because it's exactly causing what I don't want. I don't wanna be angry with him. I'll see him, talk with him, and… I don't know. I definitely don't know.

Hum. I guess the shop is in this area, but I'm not sure. Maybe is should have checked on a map. I was in such a hurry I lost my ability to think it seems. I should take the time to think, such a behavior is dangerous in my job. 

It's a very peaceful street. It must be pleasant to live here in the middle of a green atmosphere with very few cars passing by. There are not many people too, except the group of schoolgirls at the shop opposite to the street. They are very noisy, seemingly excited. Wait a min… it's a… flower shop…

I cross the street without watching for cars and walk slowly to the shop. Koneko no Sumu Ie. That's it. My heart begins to beat furiously. Oh God… I'm stressed now! And just because I'm about to see Ken! I hate that. I feel like one of those stupid girls facing their first love… hum… don't wanna think about love right now…

Now I'm just at the far end of the huge mass of giggling girls. I try to see above their heads and I wish I were taller. Damn! Kinda hard to see something. Those girls are literally invading the shop uttering small piercing screams that would scare any man. I wonder how Weiss can get customers if those fanatics prevent everybody from even seeing what's in the shop. I sigh. I'm forced to wait. At least I can hear their gossips.

To what I hear it's obviously Omi and Yohji's shift. I wonder who they are, but anyway that means Ken is free from duty… but he's probably not here.

"Yohji's so kawai, ne?" says one of the fans next to me jumping frenetically.

Her friend nods. "I wonder who's that kid…"

Kid? What kid? 

I try to look in the shop once again. There's somebody at the table, the young blond-haired Weiss, their hacker. He's composing a bouquet with flowers I've never seen before. And on the right… I see the tall blond whose weapon is wire, Schuldig's fave toy. There's a young kid on his shoulders playing with his ears.

"The baby really looks like him. They've got the same eyes!"

"Now you're right. Do you think it's his son?"

A lively discussion breaks on the topic. I would have never thought one of my enemies to have children. A family never suits a killer, I found out that fact years ago. Yohji is quietly watering flowers with his always-stirring so-called son, paying no attention to what is being said. The other Weiss seems to be nervous, probably because of the situation. Sure it's unnerving me as well. I've got no information on where Ken could be. I decide to act.

"Sumimasen." I gently pat on some girl's shoulder. She looks at me, startled, and smiles broadly. Her friends throw me a glance too, and I'm temporary the center of their attention. They whisper some piercing "kawai" and wonder who I am. But I don't have the time nor the will to play. "Do you know where Ken is?"

More gossips. More screams. 

"You're one of the kids Ken-kun is teaching soccer to?"

"…Ha…hai." I think I'd better lie. I don't want to find an explication for those hungry predators. 

"Well… I guess he's in the park with the other kids for their lesson." They seem pretty sure of it actually. I guess they went spying on him just before going to the shop. I feel disgusted by such a behavior. They won't win the bishounen's heart this way. This thought quite relieves me. And anyway they're too occupied watching the Weiss playboy playing with the kid instead of working. 

I walk away after uttering an arigatou. Now I've got to find that park. It wouldn't have been wise to ask her, for she would have doubted my fake identity. I don't care of what those crazy fans think, but i don't want to waste time with them in endless explications. 

So here's a park. Quite a vast one, with grass and trees absolutely everywhere. It reminds me of the park we went together. He had asked me if I wanted to drink. I had been an idiot to deny the proposition, but at that time I didn't want to have anything to do with him. Actually I was afraid of my feelings. Now I am fully aware of that, and I'm aware that I need him too. 

I step on the fresh grass, and I feel the urge to walk barefoot. I take off my shoes and feel the soft blades of grass under my foot. I can't help but smile at the simple pleasure it gives me, and as I smile, I hear the shouts of children behind a shield of trees. I walk towards the trees carrying my sneakers in my hands, and once there, I discover a new marvelous scene. From the safe shadow of the trees, I can observe the soccer lesson. There are maybe twenty children there, almost all younger than me, laughing and playing with the ball. And among them, taller than all, runs a cheerful Ken, all smiles. He shouts orders and advice to the kids, laughs with them, shows them how to handle the ball, supports them…the kids listen to him carefully and obey every order. All the kids are fighting to be next to him. 

He's beautiful.

I sit down in the shade and watch the show with joy. I wonder how they can stand such a sportive activity with this heat. It seems they have been running for quite some time now, for all of them are exceedingly sweating and breathe hard. Even the glorious Ken is exhausted. But he's having so much fun he goes on playing. 

Ken shouts something to the kids that automatically gather around him. they exchange a few inaudible words, and the group breaks. All of them are smiling as they pick up their clothes and bags. It's the end of the game. 

Ken watches some of them leaving, waving and smiling. Then he walks slowly to his own bag, some meters below where I sit, takes a bottle and drinks. His clothes are tight around his body with the sweat. He drinks ravenously and some water flows on his already wet shirt. He uses the remaining liquid as a shower, spreading the water on his bent head. And as he raises his head, he sees me.

First he's puzzled. Then he smiles and comes without any hesitation. I feel relieved. This means he's truly happy to see me, and considers me as a friend. He walks the few meters that separate us hastily, and now stands just in front of me, his honest smile filling me with pleasure. I'm no longer stressed. I'm just wonderfully happy, and I even smile back.

"Ohayou! Nice to see ya!"

"You haven't phoned" A blunt accusation. I wish I had said something that showed my joy. But that's just me, to behave coldly. I've always been this way, first because I haven't been really happy in my short life, then because this way people don't want to be near me, and it prevents many unbearable situations. In my job, love and friendship is something that hurts badly. Very badly. I don't want to know that loss again. But in spite of that I like Ken, and that hurts.

Ken blushes. "I…forgot your number…"

Nani? He's stupid or he's lying? 

No no no! Nagi! I told you not to be angry! Why would Ken call you? You don't deserve him. You're a killer, you deserve pain.

I don't have the time to reply. Some kids come to see Ken and try enthusiastically to get him into play again.

"Gomen, demo tsukareta da yo!" the young man sighs and resists as the kids try to drag him pulling his shirt. 

"Hanase. It's my turn to spend some time with Ken-niichan." 

Ken blushes once again, and the children look at me disapprovingly. They finally give up and leave, not without showing explicitly their disappointment. 

His sparkling eyes meet mines, and my heart is filled with joy.

"You know, it's the second time you save me this way." 

I blink. He's right. Only a few minutes after our first meeting last week, I had told those bastards to let him go. Maybe it's what we call fate…

Ken sits under the tree next to me. He's really exhausted and soon lies down on the grass. It gives me all the leisure to observe him once again. His blushing face, his jade eyes turned to the sky, his drenched chocolate hair falling on his forehead… his chest raises with his breath, gradually more gently and slowly as he's relaxing.

What am I doing? Why am I with the enemy? And why do I feel so good when he's close to me? This feeling is even not comparable with the one I have for Brad. I love Brad, but he's more like a brother to me… a brother that hurts me since he uses me as he would do with a toy…only for his business, as Schuldig would for his own pleasure. Yet I love him. But I never feel at ease with him. So why Ken? Why?

"Nagi?"

I wake up from my daydreaming at the sound of his voice. He's looking at me with a worrying glare. I suppose my face seemed quite stern with those disturbing thoughts. I smile at him reassuringly.

"I've got to go back home. Need a shower…"

I can't help being disappointed. He perceives my feelings and hurries to add: "But after we can do whatever you want!"

I never met such a concerned people. He doesn't want to hurt me. If only he knew how much he's disturbing me…

I nod and we start for the Koneko. 

The walk is short, and almost speechless. I wonder if I'll be able to follow him in the shop. I guess I'll have to wait for him outside. 

The girls are still gathered in and outside the shop, still screaming, still giggling. They are calling for Yohji. Ken sighs.

"Yohji is the tall blond with the kid?" Then I add at his stunned look. "I came to the shop. I didn't know where to find you. One of the girls told me."

"Oh, I see. Yeah, Yohji's the tall blond playboy… with the kid…"

"He's his son?"

"Aa. We found it out only 4 days ago. He decided to take care of him, and his mother can work more freely this way." He laughs. "He's a real mother-hen! He's spoiling the kid! I would never have thought that of him!"

"Same for me…"

We reach the street along the shop and Ken takes it. I follow him quite surprised because I thought he would enter through the shop's door, but I guess there's a backdoor. He stops at a garage door, takes his keys and opens it. He steps in, switches on the light and invites me in.

"Are you sure I can come? I mean, your friends…"

"No prob." He gestures me to follow him. "Aya's gone on his mystery tour and Omi and Yohji are too busy with the girls."

I wonder what he means with 'mystery tour', but I let it drop. I walk behind him in the Weiss headquarters. I would have never thought I would visit the place as a guest. We quite hurry upstairs but it allows me to evaluate the rooms as we pass them. They have enough room, but it's far smaller than the Schwarz headquarters. With all the room we have I barely can stand living with my roommates. How can Ken survive with three other people in such a tiny place? The corridors are really thin too, and quite gloomy as the window shades are shut to temper the atmosphere. I follow Ken's frame in the dark, but I collide in him as he stop at a door. 

"Sumimasen…" We say in chorus. I smile, and I wonder if he's smiling too.

He opens the door. "Dozo" I step in. It's quite a small room. Square shape, a bed near a window, facing the bathroom. Near the bed there are wood shelves filled with soccer items and stuff that look like small toys. The last important detail is the mess. The ground is invaded with clothes and things… I try hard not to walk on them but it's kinda impossible.

"Errrr… sorry, I hadn't time to clean up…but feel at ease. I'll have my shower!" He enters the bathroom and shuts the door. Only a few seconds after I can hear the water pouring. I jump on the bed, the only empty place, and sit conveniently among the pillows. The sheets have his scent, and I think I could stay here and have a rest. The image of Ken haunts my mind, and I try to wipe it away, without much success. Maybe if I talk…

"Why did you enter Weiss?"

I wait for the answer. Nothing. Only the noise of the shower. Maybe he can't hear me. I go to the far end of the bed and knock on the bathroom's door and open it, peeping inside. Bad idea. Why had I to do that? 

Ken is under the shower. I have never seen such a beautiful picture. The water running down his naked body, his hands stroking his drenched hair, his face lifted to face the violent flow, lips slightly parted and eyes closed…My heart pounds and my throbbing member hurts as I'm fascinated…

But Ken sees me, gasps, and hurries to grab the closest towel to hide himself behind it as if he was scared of me. I suppress a smile. He's seriously blushing.

"Do I make you feel nervous?"

"Quite yes" He's very shy.

"Why? Is it because I'm a man? Because I'm a kid? Or because I'm part of Schwarz?"

"Etou… all of them…"

I could force our relationship and join him. It is a strong desire growing inside of me. But Ken really seems to be disturbed, and I don't want him to regret what we could share. I shut the door and go back to the pillows, enjoying the day, and especially trying to calm my arousal.

Ken finally leaves the bathroom, towel round his hips. He notices me on the bed and blushes again. I love this blushing of his.

"I…I have to take clean clothes…" I wonder why he feels the need to tell me what he wants to do as if he asked my approval. He starts to search in the cupboard.

"What are you expecting from our relationship?"

He stops. "I don't know. I just want to be happy."

"It's the best answer I could have expected."

Ken smiles. Such an easy smile. Such a comforting smile.

"Do you wanna have a shower too?"

I refuse. I had rather have the shower with him. I wish Schuldig and Farfarello hadn't interrupted our kiss last week…

"You told your friends about… me?" I almost said 'us'. But I'm not sure enough of his feelings, maybe there's no 'us'. I envy Schuldig. Telekinesis is of no use in such situations.

"No"

"You won't tell them?"

"Well, I don't think so. Not yet. I don't know how they would react." He hesitates and sits down on the bed with sloping shoulders, a sad look fixing the clothes on the ground. "A week ago, Schuldig phoned." My heart stops to beat. I insult Schuldig mentally.

"He threatened you?"

"No"

I can't believe it. Sure Schuldig has quite calmed down in the past days, but…

"He wanted us to deliver flowers"

NANI? HANA? 

"We thought it was a trap. I hadn't told them about you. And finally we met this woman with her son, an old girlfriend of Yohji's."

"That's how Yohji discovered his son? Thanks to Schuldig?"

Ken nods, then adds shyly:

"At the Koneko…the others didn't see u?"

"I'm not a baka. And all those girls hid me. You've always had so many fans?"

Ken blushes once more, yet laughs. "We're famous, it helps to get some money."

I'm jealous. What he just said has so many unpleasant meanings. I'm overwhelmed with anger.

"You should create a boysband and start touring."

Ken didn't notice the harsh tone in my voice. He smiles at the idea. "No way! It would get worse!"

"Good. I want you only for me."

He freezes. He looks at me and I look at him.

"Nagi…"

"That's what I expect from our relationship. I want to be your koibito."

I have just realized it. I love Ken. And the feeling both makes me happy and hurts me.

"But I…"

"Tell me if you don't want me, and I leave."

"It's not that, but… I'm in love."

I raise an eyebrow. "With someone else I guess." He nods. "Does she love you?"

"He…he's rather cold with me…"

"He? Then you don't mind if I'm a man." Ken's glance is really sad now. We both love somebody who doesn't love us in return. We both suffer from love. I wonder if it's a member of Weiss, and which one… if the bastard can't even love him and make him happy, I don't see why I should let him Ken. He really needs help, and I'm here for him. I guess he never confessed his love.

I could be his, even if it's temporary. The fact that he loves another man hurts me, even more than what I expected, but provided I can be with him, I'm satisfied. But for how long? As I sit on the bed close to him, I think I could strengthen our relationship right now. There's just this towel between us…

"What about staying here this afternoon? Your room is so cool, when it is so hot outside…"

I stretch my hand to touch his back. He shivers at the caress. His skin is still wet and soft from the shower, and I can feel his muscles under my fingers. I see in his eyes his silent plead for help. He's got a decision to make, and he doesn't know what to do. I'll choose for him. I come closer and put my arm around his waist. He doesn't move. He doesn't invite me to go further, nor he turns me away. He just watches me right in the eye, probably torturing himself with his feelings. Such a sad look. I feel the need to ease his pain, to wipe his doubts, yet I still hesitate. He loves another man. And when I'll hold him, he'll think of him, not of me. Hatred invades me as desire does. His scent drives me crazy, I don't know if I could resist him much longer.

"Let me make you happy…"

He smiles. A slight smile for an important decision. He took the good one. And as I kiss him gently, I throw that annoying towel among the clothes on the ground.

I want Ken, and right now.

-Part Six_owari-

Yaaaaay! Ken and Nagi are such a lovely couple! It's a pairing we don't see often, and I thought it was a shame! They're so cuuuuuuuute! ::shifted on crazy fangirl mode:: Hum… tell me what you think of them ne? I want comments!!!!!!!!!! :thinks many readers must curse her not to have described what came after between the 2 brunettes::


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